This is my dear sweet Sophie.
Here’s a little background. She is part shepherd and only God who knows what. She is at least 11 years old. We’ve had her for 10. She came into our life when our neighbor adopted one of her 9 puppies. At that time I was working crazy hours and did not have time for a puppy. They mentioned that the mom was still available. So Hubby and I went “just to look”. (BTW going “just to look” NEVER applies when it comes to puppies and dogs. You always bring something home) Her previous owner dumped her and her 9 puppies off at the humane society. We were instantly drawn to her. So, of course we brought her home on a very snowy day in January.
Once we got her home, we did notice she was skittish. Her reactions to the slightest bang or raise in voice let us know that she may have been abused. But that was no longer going to happen in our home and it took a long time for her to trust new people.
Move forward 10 years later, we noticed within a few hours that her stomach became very bloated, had trouble standing up and short of breath. It was time for lunch and she sniffed her bowl then laid down. Girlfriend has NEVER missed a meal! Two of her fav times of the day is lunch and dinner! We moved the bowl next to her and she began eating a few pieces laying down but would get more short of breath. We figured with her age (11 is very old for a shepherd) that it was possibly time to let her go.
Made a vet appointment that day and took her in.Vet was not sure what was going on. Thought maybe her liver was enlarged. Her belly was “tapped” to see if there was fluid present to swell her stomach. There was none which was a surprise to us. They decided to keep her all night to run blood work, x rays and to keep her comfortable with pain medications. We cried, prayed and cried some more. We thought for sure that her liver was failing just like the shepherd we had before. Next morning, vet called us and said all her lab work is perfect. Major organs were functioning great but truly don't know what is going on. Vet said is was some kind of pain response. She was prescribed Gabapentin twice a day. My mind kept telling me over and over that I do NOT want her to suffer. I do NOT want her in pain. It was almost an obsessive thought. Well, not "almost" it was and still is. I know when we went to get her and I mentioned it at least twice. The vet had to think that I just wanted to put her down. But that is the complete opposite, IF she wasn't suffering. I told hubby what kept playing in my mind. He said “Jenn, it makes sense. You are in pain every single day, every minute of the day. You know how miserable it can be and you don’t want that for Sophie.”. He was totally right! Why didn't I realize that? Is it because having chronic pain alters your own perspective? Is it because having chronic pain is my normal? I don't know but I am lucky to have hubby give me some insight.
As for my Sophie, she is hanging in there. She eats and drinks just fine. Still wagging her tail and will bring you a stuffed animal. Little night incontinence mostly because she is now afraid to go outside to potty at night. She takes her Gabapentin, also has an anti-inflammatory for the bad days. She will tell me when it's time.
Hugs!
Jenn
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