- Depression: I talk of this offen. I have struggled with depression for many years, even before I got the Fibro or Lupus diagnosis. But as those 2 hit me, my depression has worsened. Mostly because I was an very independent woman. Worked, kids, camped and now I am home 90% of the time. I have to depend on everyone to drive me somewhere. I depend on kids and husband for everything. I hate it. Having chronic pain is just plain depressing itself. It puts you in a bad mood when you wake up every morning and you can hardly move. Fatigue is depressing. Just even dusting the living room causes fatigue and that just pisses me off. Depression sucks!
- My brain vs. my body: My brain is telling my "get up and go clean the house. But my body is saying "Ha Ha Ha...you are so funny". It is a constant battle. My mind, is that of before I was sick and sometimes it just doesn't understand that I can't do things I once could. In turn, this fuels the depression and anxiety. I get so angry! Why? Why can't I just get up and wash the dishes and not get fatigued? Why can't I take a shower and then go to the store? I really have to stop myself and say "Alright, you know you can't do that. Chill out! It's no big deal. The dishes will be there tomorrow. As will the laundry.".
- Anxiety and agitation: My anxiety has increased right along with my illnesses. I am easily agitated. I find it more difficult being around a group of people. The chatter of people I find grating. It makes my skin hurt. It mentally agitates me. Increases my pain. I find myself wanting to run from a room full of talking people. So, I tend to avoid it. This also means missing out on family functions, parties and fun things. I have also noticed loud music or the TV turned up too loud has the same affect. So, I'm usually yelling "Turn the damn TV down!".
- Tremors: They suck too! It's rather comical trying to text on my phone. My teenage daughter laughs how slow it takes me to type. "You're so old Mom!" The more fatigued I am, the worse the tremors get in my hands. Every morning when I wake up, upon rising, my entire body tremors. Most noticeably in my head and neck. Very strange!
- Numbness in my legs and feet: feels like I have thick, wool knee high socks on. I have had my daughter run her finger up my shin just to see if I lost feeling. Feeling is still there but a weird thing happened. After she ran her finger up my shin, the feeling resinated, echoed if you will. Like she kept running her fingers up but she wasn't. See...this is why doctors look at me like I'M crazy!
- Weird sensations:
- Hands feel sticky after I wash them. Seriously..this took me awhile to get over. Every time I wash my hands, it feels like I washed them with glue. When it first happened, I was like OCD woman washing her hands and hubby and kids looking at me like I'm crazed! Dogs even stayed away because I was panicked. I have learned after I wash and dry just let my hands rest.
- Trickles of water running down my legs. First, I always check to see if I peed. Because, ya know that happens...often. But whatever. I get this weird feeling that cold, very cold trickles of water running down my leg.
- Vibrating sensations on my legs. Like someone placed my phone on "vibrate" and laid it on my legs. Annoying!
- Electric shocks on my face. If I move or jerk suddenly, I get this electric shock feeling throughout my face. Too bad it doesn't tighten up the wrinkles lol
There are just so many other symptoms that I could list on here. I know eventually I will post on it. Hope you are well!