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Saturday, June 7, 2014

Vertigo in the bedroom!

Ok, if you are easily offended, STOP here and read one of my other posts. If you have read my posts before, then you will know that I am pretty straight forward. So, continue on for a good laugh!
Sex does not come often in my house. I'm either too tired, in too much pain or simply not in the mood. Well, my hubby was happy the other night because I was actually feeling up to doing it. It was moving along quite nicely. Endorphins running (which helps with pain by the way). Until....I attempted to get on top. HOLY CRAP the vertigo hit! In the middle of my "approach" the vertigo hit me stronger than it ever has. I just plopped to the side, grabbing my head and moaning because I was spinning so bad. Plopped, I mean like I couldn't stop my self and just hit the bed. Now, my poor hubby thought that he was "doing a great job" prior to the "approach" and I was just enjoying it. Oh heck no! I was spinning so bad that I couldn't move. It felt like when you were a little kid spinning in circles, you get so dizzy it feels like you are leaning to one side. Hubby started rubbing my back which that seemed to make the vertigo worse. So, I'm yelling at him not to touch me. He still thinking he's done a great job and I am having this wonderful orgasm. And yet he still thinks it is going to happen. So, now I am yelling at him "VERTIGO!". Of course, being a man, his response was "do you want me on top then?.  "Uhh...are you frickin crazy?" After a few minutes. My head stopped spinning. I try to "approach". Holy hell, here it comes again! Plop over on the bed again. Forget it! Not even worth it!
With all that said, in-vision what I just said (in-vision me looking like Jennifer Anniston please). Man and wife attempting to have "relations". Wife "approaches" on hands and knees and then just PLOPS OVER in the middle, grabbing her head, moaning. Husband thinking he is king of the world because he just gave his wife the world's greatest orgasm. Unbeknownst to him, she is just having a vertigo attack, but he's still hopeful to "be on top". Yes, it is really frickin hilarious! It really is! I think we laughed and laughed because of what happened. I'm still laughing.
After all the pain, fatigue, weird feeling sensations, peeing your pants and yes, vertigo....just remember to laugh. Laugh at a crappy situations. Humor is truly the best medicine. Vertigo and sex...not so much LOL

Hugs to all!

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