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Sunday, September 28, 2014

Wooooohoooo!!! 4 weeks without a cigarette!!!

4 WEEKS TODAY!!!!! WOOOOHOOOO!!! I still cannot believe I have come this far. I would have never imagined going 4 weeks without a smoke. Yea for me!!!!!
Tobacco Free Jenn!!

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Chronic illness and my best friend..

Lately, I have been having a hard time dealing with the fact that I cannot do certain things like I used to. I used to be able to do anything that I wanted. Camping, shopping, driving, working...I truly miss my old life. I have said it time and time before, my mind says "yes you can" and my body just laughs and says "yeah right!".
I am fortunate enough to have a wonderful best friend. Kim, who I met while in nursing school 10 years ago. We have so much fun together no matter what we are doing. We can laugh at anything and we can just look at each other without saying a word and know what each other is thinking. We are always there for each other no matter what it is. Death of a parent or birth of a grandchild. We know that we will always have each others back.
Few years old but that is alright!!
Having a chronic illness as I do, tends to dampen the relationship. I am not able to do the things that we used to do together. We would shop, go play Bingo, camping, dinner out at times. I used to drive to her home once a week to see her (though I say he is MINE) grandson. Now, I am no longer able to do these kinds of things and if frustrates the hell out of me.
For a while, I was feeling like, a jealous teenager that MY friend was hanging out with other friends. But as I thought about it more and more, I realized that I wasn't jealous of the fact that she  has other friends or fear that I was being replaced. It is hurt that I felt because I am unable to do what I used to do. I cannot go camping when it is too hot, which is most of camping season. I cannot drive over to her house weekly anymore. I cannot sit for 3-4 hours and play Bingo because sitting too long hurts, concentrating for a long period doesn't work. I'd probably being yelling out "Yahtzee" instead of "Bingo" because my mind would be fried lol. Shopping, forget it lol Unless I have a motor scooter. But God help us if I'm driving! lol It is just so depressing! Frustrating! It seems like it just takes more and more away from me. Another slap in the face! This is another aspect of chronic illness that you don't see in a fancy pamphlet.
I am happy that my bestie has a friend that she can go camping with. And even though, I have all these thoughts of feeling sorry for myself, the hurt is real. I am fortunate to have such a wonderful person in my life. She will probably slap the shiz-nit out of me after she reads this because she will not think anything of the sorts. She knows that there are things that I cannot do. I know that she will tell me that I am not replaceable, we will always be best friends no matter what and it doesn't matter that we don't go and do things like before as long as we continue to talk 20 million times a day.
I love ya Kim!!
On a side note: we don't actually talk 20 million times a day. But it was figured in one month...38 & 1/2 hours but whatever! LOL

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Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Dog, skunk and God's great sense of humor!

Whom ever thinks that God does NOT have a sense of humor, you are WRONG!! God has a terrific sense of humor! Especially to me and my family! It was 1 am. I'm sitting, with my hubby Sam, in the living room, finally able to talk to each other because he worked crazy hours that day. My lovely dogs, Sophie and Buddy are telling me that they want to go outside to potty. Sure! Again...1 am. Sam and began to converse again. Few minutes later, the dogs are barking.
Ok, go to the door and holy hell it stinks! "Oh $hit Sam! They [dogs] got a skunk!" My dogs managed to corner a skunk underneath one of our vehicles. Sam comes to the door. He starts dry heaving dramatically. I'm trying to not let him see that I am laughing.
I don't know what the hell to do??? I'm a city girl! So, I did what anyone else would do...Google. Then, of course, status update on Facebook for help. Sam is guarding the dogs in a corner of the living room making sure they don't touch the furniture. After a lot of suggestions and research, I found a concoction that was popular:

  • 1 QT Hydrogen Peroxide 
  • 1/4 cup Baking Soda 
  • 1 teaspoon (I used a tablespoon) Dawn Dish Soap
Sam had taken the dogs back outside, created a barrier so they wouldn't run a away and starts to scrub them with water and Dawn Dish Soap while I am being the mad scientist making my magical concoction. As Sam is bent over scrubbing, he gets stung by what I would say a hornet or wasp. So, now he's yelling that he got stung. Yelling at the dogs telling them "What is wrong with you guys? Don't ever go for skunks again! Jenn, THEY NEED TO LEARN! Maybe going through this will teach them." I said  "Yea honey...(as my eyes are rolling) I'm sure they learned their lesson.". 
So, Sam continued to scrub down the dogs with the concoction . After they were rinsed, took them into the shower for another bath with just the dish soap. It actually worked! Dogs actually smelled better than they did before the skunk. Never a dull moment! So, if you think God does not have a great sense of humor...think again!

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Tuesday, September 9, 2014

1 week of not smoking!

I am a smoker. I have smoked since I was a teenager. I'll say it, I love my smokes! I know, I know...smoking is terrible. Hell, I'm a nurse. I truly know what smoking causes. Seen it. Even been in an operating room observing a partial lung removal due to smoking. (Which was really cool btw!) And yet, I continued to smoke.
My bestie, also a smoker, tried the new vapor cigarette. She loved it. After about a week, she was telling me how she didn't even want a real cigarette. Really?? Of course, I still wasn't to sure about giving up my beloved smokes. She is doing wonderful on the vapor cig. So, that got me thinking. My best friend is a very strong, independent woman. If SHE could do it, I can too. I know am pushing 40 and with all the medical problems I have, smoking is really a stupid thing to do. So, on August 31. 2014 at 2:45 pm was my last cigarette. It has been over a week now and I can't believe I haven't had an actual cigarette since then.
Please don't get me wrong, it has been a challenge. Still is a challenge. It is not an easy thing to do by any means! But I think what is hardest thing about not smoking, is the change in routine. You don't realize how much smoking is part of your routine until you try to stop. For years, I woke up in the morning, peed and went outside to smoke. The first few morning, and yes, sometimes still, I will sit at the end of my bed, twiddling my fingers, wondering what I need to do. Not to mention the dogs are a part of your smoking routine too. I get up in the morning and they are looking at me like "Ahh, Mom?? What are you doing? Aren't we going outside?". It's like, you know you are supposed to be doing something but you don't know what. That feeling does go away. I just have to figure out something else to do. I have tried pushing off my vapor cig as long as I can in the morning just so I can get used to another routine.
Triggers are tough. Triggers meaning: smoking after eating, riding in a car, before I go to bed, seeing people smoke on tv (Sons of Anarchy will be the big test Tuesday!) and talking on the phone. That last one is my biggest trigger!  Talking on the phone! OMG! That phone! Since I am home all day, the phone is my only outlet to the outside world. I am on the phone a lot during the day. I usually hit the vapor cig when I am on the phone.
I sometimes get the impression that people think that when a person switches from real cigs to vapor ones is no big deal. "You're just trading one for the other." It's not that simple. Trust me! It is a huge deal! It is a major accomplishment! It takes will power like you have never known. It does change your entire life. 
The best thing about doing it, my kids, hubby and mom are so proud of me. Gives me a sense of joy.  I know that it has only been a week but a very proud week it is! I am going to keep trying! 

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Wednesday, September 3, 2014

Contact info link fixed!

It was brought to my attention that the email link on the "Contact" tab above was not working. It is now fixed and functional!! So, please do not hesitate to write me. Just remember, I am NOT a doctor.