Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS)..who named it that? It should be renamed "What the hell were you thinking eating that, pissed off bowels in knots, pooping your brains out, sweating like you just ran the Boston Marathon bowel syndrome". It sucks! As well as judging how to expend my energy because of the fatigue now I have to decide if it is really worth eating certain foods. Let me tell ya, I love food! Steaks, chicken pork, pasta, salads, cereal. Ohh...shrimp and lobster! But I have to decide if it is worth eating because I will sh** my brains out. Even for a bowl of cereal. I love my Fruity Peebles Cereal but in the matter of 25 minutes, I'm sitting on the throne. Not to mention the "Fruity Peeble" farts that I get. Good lord! Even the dogs move away from me.
(This may sound gross but you know I'm pretty straight forward) 25-45 minutes after I eat, my stomach is very audiable. Making all kinds of sounds like on the movie Alien. You would think that the creature is going to come out. Hell, I start to wonder when the cramps hit. IBS for me, is a mixture of constipation and diarrhea. How is it even possible to have constipated diarrhea? It's like you have to pop the cork before the joyious diarrhea comes. My cousin, who has Crohn's Disease and who also has a great blog, we have decided the constipated diarrhea is like having "dry heaves" but out the ass. You push and push and nothing. Feel the hemorrhoids enlarging. And the sweat? Really? Now I'm sweating?? Yeah, this is really a workout lol. Ya know, as much as I sweat, you think that I would weigh 100 lbs??? At this point I am hoping I will stop sweating. Hoping I don't drop my Ipad. Hoping that there is more than 3 squares of TP left. Wondering why in the hell the cat is in here with me. Damn teenagers yelling through the door. Finally, relief!! Comes out like water. If someone listening they would think that I was peeing. So, now I am done. My bowels are now annoyed because they had a work out. So to get back at me, they decide that they are going to keep cramping, make me bloated and trick me a few times to go into the bathroom again without any results. I had no idea that bowels can be very spiteful!
I wanted to include Bowel Incontinence along with this post because IBS does cause me to have incontinence. There are sometimes there is no reason for my incontinence. Just happens. Sometimes I don't even feel it coming out. Just there. Thrown panties away in restaurant restroom before. Oh well! I don't get embarrassed any more. Ya know, it's part of my disease. It's more annoying than anything. I'm in the bathroom cleaning myself up and yelling to my daughter with the teenage attitude "Sis, I need clean panties". Her response is "OMG mom! No you didn't?". "Yes Sis, sh** happens now go get me panties!".
Take it from me, IBS is sh**ty, name should be changed and NEVER be embarrassed!
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