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Wednesday, July 2, 2014

Truth about symptoms part 3...Pain

Chronic pain! I have chronic pain. Some days good. Some days bad. Real bad! Again, this is another symptom that is brushed off lightly. An invisible symptom that makes you look like you are crazy. Myself, I have different types of pain. It is not a simple "ohhh, ouch it hurts!"". It's actually more complicated than that.

  1. My skin hurts. Seriously, my skin literally hurts. Hurts when clothes are touching it. Hurts with the sweetest touch from my husband. Bras, I hate bras! Underwear is annoying! The pain is like...let's say you have a blister that has opened on your hand. You gently brush it up against something. Yeah, that pain. Raw, irritated, blistering, radiating, like you have a horrible sun burn, pain. BTW, this is called Allodynia.
  2. Spasms. I have such muscle spasms in my back, legs and feet. I wake up with back spasms. I feel like I have been punched between the shoulder blades. I can't move in the morning. Moving just fuels the spasm. When I am trying to sleep at night, every turn in the bed, I wake up in pain and go back to sleep. (This also increases fatigue, cognition difficulty, word finding problems, etc... I just can't win!) When you have RLS or PLMD, I wake up often during the night anyways. Spasms in my toes which my daughter thinks it is hilarious to see. Yes, she is evil! I have found that I cannot stretch my toes or they will lock, spasm in one place until I hop up and down like an idiot. UGH!
  3. My joints are on fire and ache! You can actually feel the heat coming off of my knees. They lock when I walk when I can walk on them. Sometimes, it feels like someone has a strong grip on my knees.  I feel like pulling off my fingers because of the ache. I have my hubby and kids pull on my arms to relieve the pain. My elbow...really my elbow too? The pain prevents me from having strength. I couldn't drain grease from the skillet because I couldn't hold the pan. Tennis Elbow I was told. Really? It must be from all the tennis I play in my short little skirt. (Please note the very thick sarcasm here) Hip pain. (S1 inflammation)I get to the point where I can't sit, stand, walk or lay for more than 10 minutes. I am constantly moving like a kid with ADD. When standing, I rock side to side like I am rocking a baby. 
  4. Eye pain. I have had Optic Neuritis in the past. But since then, when I get tired, hot or apparently for no reason, my eye will hurt. Reading or blogging makes it hurt too. It feels like I have been punched in the eye. Bruised around the eye. Movement is also painful at times. Not to mention sunlight. I swear I am becoming a vampire. EEEKKKK, the sun! It burns!!!
  5. The all over, don't touch me, don't move me, don't look at me, don't talk to me, don't breathe around me, don't stand there and look at me, just leave me alone pain. I don't really need to add anything else here. Pretty much self explanatory lol

I just hate being in pain all the time. It affects my family. It's depressing. But, I do try to smile through the pain and I do try to push through it. But, sometimes it just wins.

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