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Friday, October 4, 2013

Acceptance and finding closure...

Acceptance and closure...2 things that I have a difficult time with. Let's start with closure. I left a wonderful job a year and a half ago. The fatigue and pain got the best of me. I was finding, cognition wise, it was getting more difficult. With the added stress of position changes, it was overwhelming. My things from my office are still there. I want to go get my possessions but I find it difficult. I think it is just the finality of it all. I hate the fact that I had to leave. I hate the fact that this illness was kicking my butt! I could no longer fight through the fatigue. No matter how hard I tried. I just love that job. I know I really need to go get my things...we shall see.
Now for acceptance. Acceptance is a great concept that I have to remind myself of. Some days are better than others. I have accepted the fact that I cannot do things like I use to. I have accepted the fact that I have to plan out when, how to do and how long it will take me to complete a task. I have accepted the fact that I can't scrub floors, wash windows, mow grass or do yard work. Who the hell wants to do that anyways? Lol. Now with that being said, there are many days that I have to remind myself of the limitations. Kinda ticks me off. I get angry, sad and irritated.  But It is what it is. I can't change the fact that I am sick. 
Acceptance and closure are very important when you have an illness. But accepting acceptance and closure are very hard to do.

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