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Tuesday, June 24, 2014

The truth about symptoms...Urinary Incontience

I write this blog because when I look up information on the internet about the illnesses that I have, I see facts, figures and diagrams. Yeah, that's great but I want to know the truth. Cut and dry truth about chronic illnesses. How it actually affects people like me. That, my friends, is very difficult to find. So, I've decided that my next several posts are going to concentrate on the symptoms that I endure. From fatigue, pain, urinary and bowel incontinence, cognition, memory problems, word finding difficulty and whatever else that ails me. I try to find humor in my symptoms (as you can see with the Vertigo in the bedroom post). So, I think this first post will be about...Urinary Incontinence.
Peeing my pants just pisses me off! But can be funny. Hell, laughing makes me pee my pants. So does sneezing, holding too long, coughing, walking, sitting or absolutely no reason at all. Just stand up and there it flows!
One evening, my husband and I was in our bedroom, I stood up from the bed and pee is just flowing onto the carpet. Had no idea. Thought it was one of the dogs peeing. I'm looking at the dogs. The dogs are looking at the pee streaming onto the floor. Then, both of the dogs are looking at me like "um, excuse me Mom, you can pee on the carpet but we can't?" I thought my dogs were going to band together to go get a rolled up newspaper. All the while, my husband is laughing. Oh whatever!
When I was driving, I would keep an extra pair  of panties in my glovebox. Few years ago, my family and I went camping out of state. We had to take 2 vehicles because of all the crap we take, 2 kids and 2 dogs. We were on our way home, driving on a rural road. Cruising along nicely. Hubby driving in front of me with our son and I with our daughter. Here comes a State Police coming toward us. I look in my rear view mirror and he whips his cruiser around. "Oh crap sis, were getting stopped!". He goes around us and heads toward my hubby and son. At this point, me and sis are laughing because they are getting stopped and we are not. I pull over behind, shouted out the window "that's my husband, we will wait.". The officer holds up his index finger, telling me to wait a minute he will be right there. The officer then comes to my window. I say as I am laughing "Ha! You got my husband!". He says "license and registration please".  Well, hell! Ok, I'll get to the point... the registration was in the glove box. Yes, next to my spare pair of panties. I gave my daughter the look of death like don't you even pull those panties out and wave them around. Because in all honesty, that's what I would have done to my mom. (Sorry mom) I seen her wheels turning. Shot her a look again. She then pulled out ...the registration. Whew! The officer gave us a stern warning for speeding. On our way once again. My daughter looked at me and said "ya know mom, I really thought about pulling them out and waving them in the air". "Yes dear, I know." I don't know where she gets it lol
Urinary incontinence is just part of whatever this unknown autoimmune demyelinating condition. Also, it's part of God's great sense of humor. If you pee your pants, grab a pair of underwear and new pants and go on. It could be a lot worse, like bowel incontinence or your daughter waving around your panties in front of the poor unexpecting policeman!

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